SAT写作满分范文

Think carefully about the following passage and the assignment below.

Essay Prompt

Mohandas Gandhi labeled close friendships as dangerous because“friends react on one another and sometimes loyalty to a friend willlead us into wrongdoing.”

George Orwell stated that “sometimes one is willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty to others.”

What do you think—are close friendships dangerous because they maylead us to wrongdoing, or is it okay that we sometimes commit “sins”for the sake of loyalty to others?

Shannon的SAT作文范文

Whichever way you decide to think about closeness and giving anotherbeing all your trust is a big part of your personality. Whether youdecide to give someone all your trust and hope they don’t turn theirback on you and betray you. Or maybe you feel that if they knownothing, they say nothing.

As Mohandas Gandhi says, maybe giving loyalty to a friend will leadus to bad things. The more a person knows you, the easier it is todeceive you. First of all, you already trust them and your heart willthink of any excuse to prove to yourself your friend is not an enemy.

Your friend may have an alternative side that you have no ideaabout. He/she could be feeding your secrets to the “enemy.” Anybody canbecome your friend, but maybe they became your friend to tell someoneelse what happened to you to your “old” best friend—all those thingsyou never wanted that person to know. Be careful of handing out yourtrust as if it were mere rocks; make the recipient earn it as if itwere gold.

As for George Orwell’s opinion that it is good to have loyalty,maybe this person will help you when you are having a hard time.Everyone loves to have a good friend—someone you can count on to laughwith, tell stories to, crack some jokes with. Not only is it nice tohave such a person, but it is healthy. When you have a bad day and needto let off a little steam, it is great to do that with this person. Ifyou allow too many things to build up inside and you are dying to tellsomeone it is not at all healthy. Maybe that includes being a bit of a“sin committer” as Orwell mentions, but these are friends that areinvaluable. They can listen to you and give support when you need it.Through their help, you can decide just how you will face the world.You just have to be smart enough to know not to be pressured into doingthings you should not do.

CommentarySAT作文范文点评

Shannon seems to have fallen into the trap that many writers do whorespond to such prompts. She seems to be seeing this through verynarrow eyes. She has personalized the quotations and her response.Although she attempts to separate the two quotations, her response isactually rather generalized. For her, friends are one’s lifeblood.Without them, one has no emotional outlet. That is not really what thequotations are talking about.

However, she does attempt to separate the two points of view. Gandhishe interprets more as friends ending up not trust worthy, so perhapsyou should not have them in the first place. Orwell, she agrees withmore, since she feels that havin reliable friends are worth maybesinning a bit.

Looking at the scoring guide, this is a three response. Itdemonstrates inadequate mastery, but developing skills. With some moretime and work, Shannon probably could turn this paper around. In thetime she had, however, she kept her viewpoint narrow. She took theconcept of friends and friendship very literally and personally.Although Marco’s response is not exactly global, it is morehypothetical. It does not sound as much like a personal response to theimportance of friends and friendship in one’s life. It is important foryou to try to think outside the box, as they say. Try not to respondentirely from the gut; attempt to respond from your mind.

实习编辑：彭莉君