雅思写作大作文：weekly（阴）
雅思写作大作文：weekly（阴）
Task 1
「Introduction」
The bars are an illustration ofthe proportion male and female teachers accounted for in six different educational environments in 2010’s Britain.
「Group 1」
<主题句-描述126三个柱子组的共性=总写> There weregenerally three educational settingsin which the percentage of men and women teachers was quite imbalanced. <细化: 去交待到底有多不平衡？优先交待极值: 柱子组1和2>
Most conspicuously, in nursery school and primary school, female teaching staff held the largest share, with 95% and 90% respectively. <再交待一句柱子组6又是情况如何？> Quite differently, in university, the rate比例of male educators was 70%, which was approximately twice as big as that前面单数名词的指示代词形式of their female colleagues (30%).
「Group 2」
<主题句-345之间差距不大即是它们三者的共性> However, a striking similaritycould be observed in the remaining educational settings. //
<4-第二组的极值> College stood out, as + there were same numbers of male and female teachers. / <3> Besides, in secondary school, women teachers had a slight advantage in proportion over their male counterparts, which approximated to 10%. / Lastly, thesituation in private training institute was exactly opposite tothat in secondary school.
「Overview」
Overall, female teachers had an apparent edge in their rates on morefundamental educational levelswhile the male teachers outnumbered their female co-workers at more advanced levels.
本文注意事项：
不要出现‘侮辱性’言辞，如: upper/lower educational levels.主要突破句型的单一性，着重主语的切换。
Task 2
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
【审题】
需谨慎，这里谈的是“二次”/“再次”犯罪，而非纯粹的犯罪率上升。因此，如教育缺失、童年阴影、家庭不和睦等陈词滥调该免则免。本文笔者仅从“出狱后改邪归正却被迫犯罪”和“未洗心革面又重操旧业”两个方面设置逻辑分层来进展行文。
「Introduction」
It is a modern-day commonplacethat increasing numbers of ex-prisoners violate the laws again once unchained.
「Main Body 1」
<首先阐释现象背后的第一点成因-笔触要快，尤其是开头部分，不要拖沓> To commence, citizens should be responsible for the surgingcrime rate. → <前面句子过于笼统，必须要细化=解释为什么公民要背锅？> This is mainly because they may entertain indifference, prejudice, and even discrimination towards the reformed criminals, who unavoidably have hardships seeking a job due to their own disgraceful past. Driven ontothe verge of being starved, they resort to committing crimes to earn their daily sustenance, such as theft and robbery.
<分清主次，把字数更多地分配给strong argument-观点分配，有长有短> Moreover, the authorities in prison should also be reproached.→ <需要细节来佐证> More precisely, it is due to their lack of in-depth rehabilitation in prison and the strict supervision after prisoners’ liberation that some law-breakers are not totally reformed, thus violating laws under some extreme circumstances.
「Main Body 2」
Considering the severity of this issue, the correspondingsolutions arein dire need. // <学点新鲜的吧，别老是首先其次的嘞>
The first imperativeis for news media to make an array of public-service advertisements. ← This can encourage the general public not to isolate the rehabilitated sinners but to lend a helping hand to those who are in need, especially in their job-hunting. In this way, the ex-offenders may feel assimilated into the harmonious society again and act as a righteous and decent citizen.
<好的逻辑分层是好的任务回应的先决条件> Additionally, as to the un-reformed perpetrators, some psychoanalystscan be invited to provide psychological remedies for them, during which they can impart some correct moral values into criminals’ mind. In this case, the offenders are highly likely to dismiss the idea of going off track again.
「Conclusion」
<时刻谨记着雅思篇幅短，务必要头轻脚轻。因此，快速结束，展望与否都可被接受> Since the reasons have been enumeratedabove, such crisis can promisingly be resolved as long as joint efforts are made by several parties.
核心文法现象：
A cat is behind the door. == S V + 介短à Behind the door + V S. 本文中示范句属于抽象的方位倒装；Commonplace adj./n. 作名词用时更less-common, 释义：“寻常事物”；Unchain vt. 释义：“解开束缚”；BTW, 有部电影Django Unchained，强推！Entertain vt. 释义：“怀有（想法、观点、思想等）”，此用法值得关注；Resort to 固搭，“诉诸于…”；此单词还有个更less-common的用法，用作名词，常见如“as a last resort”释义：“最后一招”；It is due to … that … → 强调句，被强调部分是原因状语；First imperative = top priority 固搭，释义：“当务之急”；Encourage sb. not to do sth but to do sth. 平行结构，务必确保搭配严谨；Be assimilated into … 释义：“被…同化”；Impart (concept, knowledge) into one’s mind 释义：“给人灌输(知识、思想)”；Go off track 释义：“走歪路、误入歧途”；Enumerate v. 列举
雅思写作大作文：weekly（阴） ，你学会了吗？